I spend an awful lot of time thinking about various fandoms and the way they do, don’t, or may intersect. For proof see: this blog.
For some reason, that overthinking leads me down one very familiar alley ALL THE TIME. A Diagon Alley, if you will. Yes, I’m talking about Harry Potter, and yes, if you read the title of this post you know that I mean I randomly sort characters into Hogwarts houses in my brain.
So, as with all things, I’m turning my odd brain ramblings into content! You’re welcome. A friend of mine recently challenged my sorting abilities by having me attempt to sort the entire cast of Grey’s Anatomy. And why not? The show is basically adult high school.
So, how do the doctors of Grey Sloan Memorial (Seattle Grace Mercy West/Seattle Grace/whatever the hospital will be called next year) shake out when they put on the Sorting Hat? I’m so glad you asked …
Hufflepuffs are fiercely loyal, deeply good people. They forge deep connections to other people, wear their heart on their sleeves (or in their vaginas) and can sometimes fall victim to more manipulative friends. But let’s face it, they’re probably the strongest people, and are certainly the best of us.
Joining the house of the badger are …
- Isobel Stevens
- Lexie Grey
- Leah Murphy
- Heather Brooks
- Richard Webber
Most of these were no brainers. All of these characters have strong bonds with other doctors and with patients. They are very intelligent, but aren’t necessarily as competitive as their classmates. Others often see these as weaknesses, but ultimately they are strengths. The easiest sorts? Lexie and Izzie.
Ravenclaws are frighteningly ambitious and fiercely competitive. They’re smart and they know it. They love nothing more than the chance to solve a good puzzle. But their ambition can sometimes get in the way of their relationships. They can’t stand stagnation, and certainly don’t react well to failure.
Going to the head of the class are …
- Miranda Bailey
- Derek Shepherd
- Amelia Shepherd
- Maggie Pierce
- Stephanie Edwards
The crux of this house’s sorting were the Shepherd siblings. Derek and Amelia both shoot for the moon, have huge egos – admittedly matched by their skill – and do not respond well when they fail or lose a patient. Much of Derek’s final character arch was about his inability to rest on his laurels and allow his wife to shine, despite agreeing to it. Amelia, meanwhile, constantly spends her life in the shadow of her brother and on the edge of a nervous breakdown – all of which she largely brings on herself.
The first word that comes to mind when you say Gryffindor is always brave, but they’re more than that. Gryffindors are protective of themselves and others, natural leaders, and incredibly stubborn. They will bear out their principles to the detriment of themselves and their relationships, and will sabotage their own interests for the sake of a greater cause. They’re also kind of pigheaded.
Roaring with the house of the lion are …
- George O’Malley
- Calliope Torres
- Owen Hunt
- April Kepner
- Jackson Avery
I think most of these are pretty obvious, much like Hufflepuff. These people are all fierce fighters, especially when sticking up for something bigger than themselves. April was the easiest one to sort. Have you seen the scene with the car? The toughest sorts were Callie and Avery. Callie could easily be a Hufflepuff, but her tendency toward stubbornness and refusal to back down from a fight won out. Avery seems like he would be a reluctant Gryffindor legacy … though his mother is in …
Slytherins get a bad rap from the other houses, but they’re just as smart as Ravenclaws, as fierce as Gryffindors, and can be as loyal as Hufflepuffs as long as you’re not standing in their way. They take no shit and no prisoners and provided they aren’t being complete assholes about it, they will succeed through sheer force of will.
Donning the green and silver are …
- Christina Yang
- Meredith Grey
- Alex Karev
- Addison Montgomery
- Mark Sloan
- Jo Wilson
- Shane Ross
- Arizona Robbins
This was the most fun house to sort because so many of the characters end up here, and so much of the main cast. These are ridiculously competitive people who have pretty terrible people skills. Those characters who end up in Slytherin are the most ruthless competitors with almost laser focus on their goals, especially early on. They have a lot of trouble with relationships because of their single-mindedness and a lot of people don’t really get them or their motivations. Christina was easiest, of course. I don’t know that any of them were necessarily difficult, but the most fun one was certainly Arizona. She would be the perkiest Slytherin ever and she would definitely hate that she had to spend all her time in the dungeons.
So, what do you think? Let me know in the comments, and feel free to suggest other fandoms you’d like to see sorted?